Senior Counselor Kathy Quance
It’s National Family Caregivers Month in November recognizing the millions of Americans dedicated to caring for their loved ones. When you think about caregivers, kids might not come to mind. Some of the many individuals taking on that role are children and young adults, who provide various levels of hands-on care and assistance to seriously-ill family members.
“Nationwide, there are approximately 1.3 to 1.4 million child caregivers who are between the ages of 8 and 18,” according to findings of the Young Caregivers in the U.S. 2005 report by National Alliance for Caregiving in collaboration with United Hospital Fund. The report also showed that, “Seven in ten child caregivers are caring for a parent or grandparent (72%)…One in ten child caregivers is helping a sibling (11%)”.
Impact of Caregiving
Caring for a family member can weigh on children, as they take on new chores, fear and worry. It also can bring them self-fulfillment to help their family.
“It can be good for kids to be involved with appropriate tasks. Taking the garbage out or getting a glass of water, that’s caregiving and that matters. It can give them a sense of empowerment to know they’re making a difference in their loved ones’ lives,” said Kathleen “Kathy” Quance, M.S., C.C.L.S., senior counselor at Empath Health’s community counseling center. She has worked with children and families for 18 years with Empath Health and Suncoast Hospice.
Whether assisting with care or not, many children face unique challenges dealing with their new family dynamics when their loved ones are newly diagnosed or living with longtime illnesses or conditions. They often feel different from other kids and may need extra encouragement and support.
Finding Focus & Normalcy
Empath Health offers counseling for families when a family member is diagnosed with a new illness or has endured a life-altering condition. “We can help in many situations, such as if a dad is severely injured in a car accident and needs a wheelchair. We can help the family while they adjust to his new limitations,” explained Quance.
Another area of support for children who have someone sick or different at home is the Kidshop workshops. “These children may or may not be giving care, but they all have someone they love and care about who’s unable to take care of his/her own needs,” Quance said.
Kidshop provides a special focus on the kids’ needs, bringing them together in a safe place to talk with other kids and receive education and emotional support. Throughout the day, they learn and ask questions about their loved ones’ diseases and medical equipment such as, ‘Why does chemo make your hair fall out?’, ‘Why can’t my brother walk?’, or other inquiries they might otherwise be uncomfortable to ask. They also engage in expressing their thoughts, concerns and feelings in journals and through other creative and self-esteem building activities.
Kathy shares, “These kids may be undergoing lots of adjustments at home, such as having a loved one move in or having to now share a room. They may be up all night, making it hard for them to finish their homework or concentrate at school. At Kidshop, they look like everyone else and find normalcy. They are the stars for the day.”
In her work, Kathy’s continually inspired by the children’s strength and hope. “In our prescription bottle activity in which the kids express their wishes to be filled, some have said laughter, love and support. We had one young girl whose dad was dying and she asked for courage. She said she needed one for her dad and one for herself. She was the most amazing, little child,” Quance said.
Kathy and her team also encourage the kids to continue their work at home. She shared, “We try to be really empowering. Some of these kids have so much going on at home and no one to really talk to. We encourage them to keep up their journal, writing down their good and bad days, and to participate in church, other activities or whatever their support systems may be.”
To learn more about our services for children, please call us at 727-523-3451.